Health

Health. Five years ago, I remember thinking that I was destined to be out of shape, unhealthy, lazy because maybe that's how god had made me. I thought I should accept how I am and learn to love "how I was born". It wasn't until my first year of college when I was on the bathroom floor cutting my size 14 pants because I couldn't fit into them that I decided I needed a change. Not a change because I hated the way I looked but a change because I needed to love myself enough to be healthy. To live to see my great grand kids, to live to travel the world, to live to have a bountiful future.

Health had never been a concern because I didn't mind the way I looked and I had never connected my weight to my unhealthy lifestyle. You constantly read "learn to love yourself" "be comfortable in your own skin" "love yourself first ". I had no problem with any of those because I definitely did and was but I didn't realize that in "loving myself" I was letting my health go.

I wanted to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath. I wanted to be able to ride my bicycle without feeling winded. I wanted to be able to play basketball with my brothers without so many time outs. I wanted to be able to walk to the cafes with my friends.

I was on the other side of fear. I feared that by giving in to health I was selling myself short of truly "loving myself ".

I decided that night, after cutting my jeans to fit that I was going to take charge of my life.

The next morning I started walking on the track. I could only walk about 2 laps at first (2/10 of a mile) but I knew that I had to start somewhere.

I also learned to change my eating habits. I didn't go all salady and such but rather significantly cut back on the portions. Instead of 4 slices of pizza, I would have 1 and instead of 2 cheeseburgers I would have 1. Cutting back was hard at first because food was an answer to so many of my problems and brought great joy to my life for many years.

With exercising i learned that the joy I felt in eating was the joy I had within myself yet was only brought out with food.

Because I learned to love myself enough to be healthy::
I am happy.
I am proud.