Kindness

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” ~Scott Adams

We interact with so many people daily, never really putting much thought into how much we can impact their life or rather how much light we can add to their life.

Everyone has a story. Everyone has a reason why their light may be a little dimmer, a little brighter.

It is not always possible or easy to understand why people act the way they do. When in doubt, be kind. It doesn’t cost anything to be kind.

Can you express concern for someone today? Can you send a quick email or text to someone you’ve been thinking of?

When you find someone whos light may be a little dimmer, consider taking a deep breath and trying to understand where he or she is coming from. Do they have a story? Can you let it go?

You can and may be the only light in someone’s life, even with one small act of kindness.

There’s always hope.

You don’t have to be Mother Theresa to be the light in someone’s life. You can simply take a minute out of your day to encourage someone, to smile at them, to listen to them.

Be the light you wish to see in the world.

Disrespect

Disrespect. We all encounter it at some point in our life but no one can predict when and how it will affect us. We cant anticipate disrespect so therefore we can not prevent. We can only learn from it. The reason for the fear or shock associated with disrespect is due to its root of "hurtful" encounters – those that involve mocking others’ ideas/commentary, conveying messages through sarcasm/ridicule , demeaning others’ work or personalities, attacking or isolating others whose views, work practices or communication styles differ from theirs. The affect of these behaviors is always heart-wrenching. Being disrespected causes physical sickness to my stomach. The impact of this behavior is costly at many levels. "What is even more perplexing and concerning than the the 'epidemic of mean' itself is the ongoing attempt by many to justify their 'mean behavior'. I call it "looking for the loophole to kindness"."

Unconditional Love.

I always thought I would never be able to comprehend or express what love meant. I grew up without hearing those simple words.

I thought I would know how to love, that it would come naturally.

I realized that unconditional love does not come easy; it is something learned and practiced.

Every single obstacle of life allows you to discover new ways of loving.

To love unconditionally is to love with absolutely no boundaries.

There are many times in my life when I feel that loving someone seems nearly impossible. There are times I say harsh things to people I love just because things aren’t going my way.

In these situations, I find myself putting provisions on love. We attach it to how others are acting, and whether they reciprocate the feelings we give to them. We attach it to the circumstances and emotions that go on in a single moment.

I find myself holding back, fearful of being hurt, afraid to sacrifice a piece of myself.

Love because you’re grateful for the things someone has done for you. Love because someone needs you, needs a friend to lean on during their struggles. Love even when it is difficult, even when your mind tells you that you shouldn’t.

Love by looking beyond people’s faults, struggles, and whatever pain and hardships that life may bring.

This unconditional love is something that can so easily be given if we recognize it, and that can change someone else’s life completely.

When we love and treat each other with the utmost care and attention, the little things that bother us seem far less overwhelming.

What would the world be like if we stopped looking to get something in return, and just loved unconditionally, for the happiness and inner peace it brings us all?

Patience.

I was taught growing up that it was a virtue.

However, in my experience, patience had meant I would miss out on something I desired. I would fast track myself through career choices and opportunities and even relationships for fear that I would miss out again.

I may have seemed to the outside world to be go-getting and achieving great things, but because I was so busy rushing to the next big thing, I was actually missing out on my own life.

Patience is hard and it takes practice. Patience is about having the inner strength to face your fears, repeatedly let go of internal expectations, and have trust that it will all work out in the end.

So perhaps patience is a virtue after all.

Moderation

Can you really have too much of anything? When we think of moderation it is most commonly associated with food but can it be connected with other good things in our life. Can you have too much love? Too much kindness? Too much faith?

Sometimes it is difficult to live life moderately because we are constantly presented with pleasures and opportunities that we are quick to indulge in.

Pleasure is what brings happiness into our lives but does absence make the heart grow fonder? What happens when the “high” effect is gone?

We sometimes forget the value of moderation in our lives. Moderation is the key to life.

“Throw moderation to the winds, and the greatest pleasures bring the greatest pains.” – Democritus

Because I learned to value moderation::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Not Enough.

What makes us feel like we're not good enough? strong enough? pretty enough? skinny enough? Is it an endless quest that society has placed on us that makes us feel like we are not enough.

For years I struggled with being not enough, especially for myself. I was hard on myself and had a hard time thinking i was good enough for myself let alone other people. During high school I constantly compared myself to those around me believing that I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, etc. The more I learned about myself, the more I realized that being 'enough' starts inside yourself.

I WAS good enough for me. I was strong enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough. I had placed too much value on the opinions of others that i disregarded being enough for myself.

Of course like anyone, I still have bouts where I wonder if I am enough. I’m still scared for at least a little bit, every day. I’ll have moments when I think that I’m not smart enough, not productive enough, not talented enough, etc.

There are days when I feel more confident, when I believe in my own ability; it can be hard to remember those moments of positivity when I’m consumed by self-doubt.

Emily Greener: “We’re running around every day and we look in the mirror, but we don’t really see ourselves. All of us are starving to be seen, to be heard, to belong.”

The desire to be everything to everyone and the fear of not being “good enough” is pervasive. It’s detrimental to our personal and professional progress, to our relationships, and most importantly, to our love for and confidence in ourselves.

Ive learned to pay attention to the source of my self-doubt, be conscious of it and work through it once it starts to creep in.

Because Ive learned that I AM ENOUGH::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Brave

Don't be scared. Open yourself up and be vulnerable to people. Allow yourself to be completely vulnerable because you might experience the greatest that life has to offer. You may miss out on amazing opportunities and people if you stay guarded for too long. Don't settle for anything though. Find what you deserve and don't let it go. There's amazing people to discover if you let yourself.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Be selfish and live life for you because that's something that you'll never regret.

Follow your heart. It will never be a mistake but rather a learning experience if your life doesn’t turn out exactly as planned. Give life all you have and don’t look back.

Don’t let your insecurities define who you are, let them be learning experiences in your life. You are so much more than your insecurities. Remember you are your own worst enemy and critic so you choose to focus on what you cant do rather then what you can do or have done.

Make the most of your life. Continue to set your standards high in life, you have an amazingly bright future ahead ! Don’t lose the drive and determination that you have.

Because I learned to be brave:
I am happy.
I am proud.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something many of us struggle with. Many of us hold onto the anger, betrayal, or sadness and allow the bitterness to consume us.We believe that by forgiving someone it is okaying their behavior, but it is just the contrary. By forgiving someone it allows us to free OURSELVES and to tell OURSELVES that is okay to move on. Forgiveness is a selfish act. True forgiveness makes us feel weightless because we regain the power that we lost for awhile. The power that was taken from us by anger, betrayal, or sadness.

With forgiveness we must be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; we must hold to forgiveness, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant. Though we may be quick to forgive it can be difficult to free ourselves of the hatred and anger that remains in our hearts.

We are not defined by our mistakes but rather the lessons we learn from them and the forgiveness we receive.

Because I have the power to forgive:: I am happy. I am proud.

Pain

We all feel it. We all experience it but why are we so quick to run from it? To avoid it?

For so long pain has been something negative, something that no one wants to experience. But when we do, don't we come out stronger? Isnt strength what we are constantly searching for? Strength to move on with our lives, strength to do better in life, strength to be a better person.

Im not suggesting that we search out pain but rather to stop tip toeing around situations or people that MAY cause us pain. Sometimes taking a leap of faith could end in pain but it may be the greatest reward. Some of the most magnificent things happen when we take that leap.

Sure, the unknown is scary and yes, you can continue to avoid pain and run from it but the strongest people have the most painful stories. Stories of loss, heartbreak, failures. These stories though make us who we are. They shape the world that we live in and how we see it. So do we really want to run from pain or do we want to experience pain. Let yourself feel the pain of loss, heartbreak and failures, to really feel it, because without it our appreciation for the better or best may be diminished.

Because I know pain::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Promise

My mother had always said "be a woman of your word". She simply wanted us to make promises and keep them. She never couldve anticipated the depth that simple sentence could have. It had never been a difficult task following through on promises with others but the older I got, the more I found it difficult to keep promises with myself.

I put others first on many occasions forgetting that a promise to myself should be of utmost importance. Why was it so difficult to make a promise to myself without being quick to break it?

The more I learned about myself the more I struggled with "treat others how you would want them to treat you" and "be a woman of your word". I had always thought that these two phrases had opposite meanings but in reality they couldn't be more parallel. I had to learn how I wanted to be treated first to decide how I would treat others. I had to keep promises to myself before I could keep promises with others.

At first, this felt selfish but for so long I had disregarded my own wants and needs to fulfill the needs and wants of others. I had broken promises to myself. Many Many Times.

Throughout this journey of life I am learning to be a "woman of my word" especially with myself but also with others around me. Life isn't about the destination, its about the journey.

Being a woman of my word, I feel:
Happy.
Proud.

Expression.

For two years, I have been completely invested in my business. I pour my heart into it daily because I see the benefits from the people who I have been blessed to meet. Im continuously amazed and humbled by the support and people I have met in these two years.

However, I sometimes forget that I am still 27. I still need to find time to enjoy and appreciate the simple things in life.

A month ago, I was contemplating a tattoo or some other sort of expression that would allow me to make a statement to myself that even though Im a building and business owner, that I am in fact just 27. I needed a constant reminder to myself to still let the child inside of me come out.

I can get so wrapped up in the formalities of life and the routine that I forget to just be 27.

Though this expression of self shocked many of my customers, the story made it more relatable to so many who, they themselves feel so caught up in their daily lives sometimes that they forget to just enjoy life.

Because I'm able to appreciate life:
I am happy.
I am proud.

Fear.

When was the last time you did something that scared you ? Too often we stay on one side of fear. There's a wonderful world on the other side of fear. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

Of course you're going to have weak moments. There may be sometimes when you feel that you cant push on any longer but you can, you have it inside of you.There is a fire inside all of us and you CAN keep going.

Life is messy. Always has been and always will be. You either do something about it or you don't , and then you live with the decision you make. The world isn't easy for any of us. It never has been and it never will be.

Do something that scares you. Live life on the other side of fear.

Facing my fears has allowed me to be::

Happy
Proud

Cafe Fresco

Cafe Fresco. Its been two years since Cafe Fresco came alive. Its been an amazingly humbling, rewarding, gratifying, strengthening experience. I started this venture to financially support myself and my future but it turned into so much more then that. It allowed me to meet amazing people and become inspired by their stories of tragedies and triumphs as well as their journeys. My goal throughout this was to give back to the community and use this business to continue my purpose in life.

Looking back on these two years, I am still glad that I chose to embark on this journey regardless of the struggles, difficulties and obstacles because throughout it all it has made me a stronger person. It has opened my eyes to the many facets of life and reminded me exactly why life is worth living. There is so much to see in life, and so many amazing people that really make life worth living. Life is about people, not about materials because materials come and go but connections remain forever.

The universe does not give you what you want but rather what you need and looking back I can see exactly why these people were placed in my life this past year. I may not have known why they were placed in my life at that point in time, but the universe knew that I needed them and for that I am forever grateful.

Because of Cafe Fresco.
I am proud.
I am happy.

Work

Work. My work ethic is something I have always taken great pride in. Growing up my father always made work his priority. My grandfather, the patriarch of our family worked tirelessly from job to job to support a family of five. He knew all too well the hard work and dedication it took to be able to support such a family.



My father felt the same. He knew that he wanted a better life for us then he had had and never wanted us to struggle or feel less than anyone. He worked full-time as a teacher but would paint during the summers and had begun his yoga business. He never complained or made it seem like it was too much. I think having three children he could see the benefits of his work. He sacrificed his time to ensure that we all had a good life growing up and that my mom was able to stay at home with us.

I started working when I was 13. I would babysit every weekend and even though it wasn't much, I took great pride in the work that I was doing and that I was able to be financially independent.

The following year I worked the summer at the softball field concession stand. The customer interaction was something I lived for. I would greet the customers as if they were old friends. The softball fields are not only a great past time for me but i could honestly say I was happy. I worked hard that summer and made good money. I realized then that my work ethic was something I could learn to be proud of.

The years that followed I took up various restaurant jobs. I learned a great deal from my managers and owners and found that the ones that really pushed me, though frustrating, I had a great deal of respect for them. They all saw something inside of me that I was unable to see for a long time. They pushed me because they knew my limits and without them I would continue to see only my limitations.

Growing up I knew that, like my father, I wanted to have a business of my own. I knew that it would take a lot of time and hard work but I was up for the challenge.

It wasn't until 2013 that my lifelong dream became a reality. I opened my first business.

Because of my perseverance and dedication ::
I am proud.
I am happy.

Education

Education. In high school, school had never been a priority for me and I had assumed that I was dealt the dumb card and there was nothing I could do to change that.

My brothers had always excelled with education and I had accepted that I could never and would never be as smart as them. I thought that since it didn't come naturally that my talents must be elsewhere.

I was a social butterfly most of my high school career until my senior year when a series of events left me friendless, hopeless and lonely. My social circle was something I had clung to so long and it had now crumbled so quickly in front of me. If I didn't have brains and now didn't have friends, what could my talent be ? This was a real struggle for me because I didn't know how I would discover my purpose, my reason for living.

I remember eating lunch on the bathroom floor every day. It had become such a routine for me that I would grab my lunch and head that direction. It became a comfort for me. I reminded myself daily that God had a plan and that this too would pass.

It wasn't until college that I realized that I was smarter than I gave myself credit for. Yes I had to work very hard because it was not something that came naturally but the challenge was exciting. I quickly saw the benefits of hard work and perseverance. I had previously assumed that because it was not natural like it had been for my brothers that it just wasn't meant to be. The same talent that were in them was in me as well I just had to work harder to accomplish the same.

After graduating I knew that the possibilities were endless. After receiving my bachelors degree, the educational drive was still very much inside of me. I decided to go on and get my masters in English. I continuously surprised myself with the motivation I had had with something I had previously disregarded and disliked. Education and learning had now become a focus in my life.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and because of that life lesson::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Travel

Travel. This had always been something that excited me. I would plan for months and when the time came it felt like Christmas Eve. I couldn't wait to unwrap the many moments and memories that would be filled during my travel.

I definitely felt like I made the most of my travels. I’m very grateful that the place where I am in my life allowed me to do so. They’ve definitely been awesome experiences. Sure-there’s been some bumps or rather walls in the road but I’m already looking back on them and laughing. I got to see and do a lot that many people only dream of and for that I am very grateful. The experiences and people I have encountered in life abroad have been amazing! Europe has so much to offer and I was lucky to soak it all in. Waking up to its beauty and making the most of everyday!

I loved seeing new sights and being exposed to so many cultures and people. Every new travel was a new opportunity to meet new life. The people I met fascinated me and their stories motivated me. They came from many different backgrounds and ways of life but their search was all the same.

They wanted to be happy.
They wanted to be proud.

Exercise

Exercise. Never something I thought I would love. It seemed like a means to an end and the thought of the end sounded much more appealing.

Five years ago when I first began exercising, I was doing it out of necessity, definitely not for enjoyment but the more I did it, the more I realized that I could turn it into something to be proud of. Each time I went I would try to push that extra lap, that extra minute so i could make myself proud. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it and that I wasn't giving up that easily.

Exercising has become a way of life for me. It's something that not only pushes me physically but also mentally as well. It allows me to test my own limits and discover that limitations are nonexistent. They exist inside your head but the reality is your mind is a powerful tool, one that can be manipulated if you choose to.

I often surprise myself with the physical boundaries I push. I'm reminded daily that I can do anything I set my mind to and because of that::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Health

Health. Five years ago, I remember thinking that I was destined to be out of shape, unhealthy, lazy because maybe that's how god had made me. I thought I should accept how I am and learn to love "how I was born". It wasn't until my first year of college when I was on the bathroom floor cutting my size 14 pants because I couldn't fit into them that I decided I needed a change. Not a change because I hated the way I looked but a change because I needed to love myself enough to be healthy. To live to see my great grand kids, to live to travel the world, to live to have a bountiful future.

Health had never been a concern because I didn't mind the way I looked and I had never connected my weight to my unhealthy lifestyle. You constantly read "learn to love yourself" "be comfortable in your own skin" "love yourself first ". I had no problem with any of those because I definitely did and was but I didn't realize that in "loving myself" I was letting my health go.

I wanted to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath. I wanted to be able to ride my bicycle without feeling winded. I wanted to be able to play basketball with my brothers without so many time outs. I wanted to be able to walk to the cafes with my friends.

I was on the other side of fear. I feared that by giving in to health I was selling myself short of truly "loving myself ".

I decided that night, after cutting my jeans to fit that I was going to take charge of my life.

The next morning I started walking on the track. I could only walk about 2 laps at first (2/10 of a mile) but I knew that I had to start somewhere.

I also learned to change my eating habits. I didn't go all salady and such but rather significantly cut back on the portions. Instead of 4 slices of pizza, I would have 1 and instead of 2 cheeseburgers I would have 1. Cutting back was hard at first because food was an answer to so many of my problems and brought great joy to my life for many years.

With exercising i learned that the joy I felt in eating was the joy I had within myself yet was only brought out with food.

Because I learned to love myself enough to be healthy::
I am happy.
I am proud.

Children

Children. Something about a childs spirit makes you feel alive- Makes you remember what's good in life- makes you appreciate your greatest childhood memories.

For 7 years I nannied for 4 families. About 3 months into it, I experienced something that forever changed my life--a feeling of great contentment, a feeling of happiness. Being an example to these babies made me feel like I had purpose in life. I understand they weren't my own but I took great pride in having such a great responsibility in raising these children while their parents were at work.

I learned to express the endless joy I felt within myself and that these children were receptive to this inherit optimism I felt.

We laughed, we played, we sang, we danced. It never felt like work to me because all this children brought such joy to my life.

They taught me to appreciate life, to live in the moment, to dance in the rain, to get dirty. They reminded me that consistency isn't key, that rules sometimes need to be made up, that life really isn't so serious.

These children will always live within my heart and always be such an amazing memory in my life.

Because I am able to see life through a childs eyes::

I am happy.
I am proud.